last night, i enjoyed a YM conversation with one of my more sensible classmates. before this ym conversation, we did not really talk much, but i discovered in the course of our conversation that we had a lot in common.
however, one of our topics (which strangely ranged fromemotional distress to anime to porn) struck me. it was about being taken forgranted. and i realized, actually my friendf made me realize that this is something that a lot of people go through.
here is what i think about it:
i was in my friend's shoes a couple of years back. i felt like i was tken forgranted by people i held so close to my heart. and it truly creates a strain in the relationship.
but then after everything i had gone through, i realized that iwas not actually taken forgranted. i was actually expecting too much, and this was because i, too, was giving too mjuch
i did not just give my time to friends, i had invested my everything. i gave them my time, my money, my thoughts, my emotions. everything i had was theirs... and whenever they needed me i would be there for them in a heartbeat.
so you could just imagine how ad i felt when i was the one in need of some suppoert...and there was nobody there to comfort me..
and so, once again, the partyphile's world crashed. what i did was to cling to people who were, like me, partyphiles. so i did not have to invest in them wemotionally. i just needed to be the fun person i was pretending to be. but then i realized that gimik friends fremain friends up until you are in the club. after that, you are on your own. they arent friends, they are partypghiles.
so i grew up and i realized that i needed to face this problem. i was not going to be somebody who was going to be taken forgranted forever.
what i realized is that, i should not expect so much. i should not expect as much as i give. actually, i should not give that much. the key is to find people who appreciate whatever it is that i am capable of giving. because i would never again give everything to someone. that just makes me vulnerable
and that is how i turned out this way: jaded, bruised, toughened up and, numb.
confession #17:
after all that i have learned im still in doubt if the better decision is to give everything and risk being vulnerable or eing emotionallty absent and risk making true connections with people...
however, one of our topics (which strangely ranged fromemotional distress to anime to porn) struck me. it was about being taken forgranted. and i realized, actually my friendf made me realize that this is something that a lot of people go through.
here is what i think about it:
i was in my friend's shoes a couple of years back. i felt like i was tken forgranted by people i held so close to my heart. and it truly creates a strain in the relationship.
but then after everything i had gone through, i realized that iwas not actually taken forgranted. i was actually expecting too much, and this was because i, too, was giving too mjuch
i did not just give my time to friends, i had invested my everything. i gave them my time, my money, my thoughts, my emotions. everything i had was theirs... and whenever they needed me i would be there for them in a heartbeat.
so you could just imagine how ad i felt when i was the one in need of some suppoert...and there was nobody there to comfort me..
and so, once again, the partyphile's world crashed. what i did was to cling to people who were, like me, partyphiles. so i did not have to invest in them wemotionally. i just needed to be the fun person i was pretending to be. but then i realized that gimik friends fremain friends up until you are in the club. after that, you are on your own. they arent friends, they are partypghiles.
so i grew up and i realized that i needed to face this problem. i was not going to be somebody who was going to be taken forgranted forever.
what i realized is that, i should not expect so much. i should not expect as much as i give. actually, i should not give that much. the key is to find people who appreciate whatever it is that i am capable of giving. because i would never again give everything to someone. that just makes me vulnerable
and that is how i turned out this way: jaded, bruised, toughened up and, numb.
confession #17:
after all that i have learned im still in doubt if the better decision is to give everything and risk being vulnerable or eing emotionallty absent and risk making true connections with people...
