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Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The Partyphile Commandments


1. Thou shall not look like shit when entering a hot club.
This is the most important commandement, unless of course, you want to be like Ugly Betty.

2.Thou shall not spend more than 100 bucks each time thou goes out to party.
Real partyphiles do not spend too much. They are popular, thus people want them to enjoy and be part of their crowd... thus the feree drinks and pick up rides

3. Thou shall not drink beer.
this is the most overlooked commandment. Drink hard drinks. beer is passe. Hard is posh. Plus, who wants a beer belly?

4. Thou shall not care what others think.
Who cares what lowlifes think? You dont, partyphile reader. Dance all you want, scream all you want, drink all you want. you never have to explain yourself to ayone else but you.

5. Thou shall dance.
Nothing sucks more than a person in the middle of the crowd who is just standing or sitting there. If you do not know how to dance, at least bob your head.

6. Thou shall not eat two hours before taking ecstasy.
You WILL vommit. I swear. So, be nice, give your friends a favor and keep your food inside your stomach. Or outside of it, for a t least two hours before you drop that pill.

7. Thou shall stand out
Wear something outrageous, dance something like a fool, givwe people a strip tease, make out with a hottie, dance atop the counters. Just do something to stand out. Your frive minutes of fame will feel so good.

8. Thou shall not vommit.
Just because its totally gross and smelly. When you feel like projectile vommit is in the near future, just stop drinking, stand still, suck on hard candy and tell someone about how you feel. Just dont puke all over the place. gross.

9. thou shall not come to a gimikan alone.
You would not want to seem like a sex starved predator now, would you?

10. Break all the rules.
Smoke where you are not supposed to, drink whatever is handed to you, no matter how much people warn you not to mix your alcoholic beverages. Just break all the rules. even these commandments...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

im not a 100% partyphile coz i don't drink pill and i ALWAYS vommit... but i do dance eventhough my body is like a STICK! but atleast i tried..



-loser shit!

Anonymous said...

hate it when some pipz in my table are intentionally quiet and they look at ur every move and wait for you to commit error or do something stupid then they whisper it to each other who are like them!