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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Laws of Affection

Alright, let's get things straight. everybody knows about my lack of reral emotion. People have caled me a lot of different names, from the "ice king", to "stone hearted" and even "manhid" (numb). But this did not really bother me much, actually it somehow made me a little bit proud. I was not proud because of my lack of emotion towards almost everything under the sun, it was just something i had acknowledged about myself, and that i know for sure. So you could just imagine my surprise when i woke up one morning feeling emotional.

I guess i was still capable of human emotion. But that is not at all important. What is important is my reason for being emotional for the first time in the longest time. Right when i woke up, i checked my wrist watch and, as always, it was 12:30. But then i saw the date on top of the time, and this time it said September 29.

"September 29" I thought to myself, realizing how little time i had left with my Law School classmates. And then it struck me. I had never gotten out of my way to be with them; I hjad not spent as much time with them as i should have. And now, that my time with them is running out, i want to give them their due.

Argh. My thoughts are too scattered. What i really want to say is:

I went to Law School just to try it out. I did not plan to make friends, i was content with the people i had close to me, and more friends just did not make it to my priority list. And so i took my Law classmates forfgranted, and i did not make an effort to befirend anyone in my class.

Months started to pass and i relaized that cliques were being formed, people became closer, and i somehow felt like an outsider looking in. That is not to sya that i did not have friends of my own; there were a couple blessed souls who helped me through tough times and put up with my dramatic tendencies, but these people seemed like a community. Not just friends, more complex than siblings; they hjad their own little world.

And at those times when i would get invited inside their world, i understood how it was to be part of that community, and then i realized how wonderful these people were.

I started feeling bad for not having a barkada in the room, for not having that study group. But then i realized, i am a partyphile. I have never belonged to one single group. In this class, where people are as diverse as mixed drinks in any bar in town, i did not have to take my pick. All i needed to do was get a taste of the
fun times with all of them, and probabaly try to get to know each and every one of my classmates.

because when all is said and done, i want to leave Law School bidding goodbye to my FRIENDS, not just my CLASSMATES.

confession # 12

no matter how i try to deny it, i will miss these crazy, weird, and fun people i call my law school classmates. and im sure, a couple of weeks after i have left them, i will come back, not wanting to learn about the constitution, criminal law, or civil law, but wanting to share more moments with them, my
new found friends.