Wednesday, September 8, 2010
The party scene is filled with many different types of personalities and profiles, and even though I the stereotypes, it must be said that there are some in the party scene. That is why they are called stereotypes…because they actually always exist. DUH!
So since we are celebrating wonderful weirdoes day today, here is a run-down of all the (un)wonderful weirdoes in the party scene:
10.) Camel: These are partyphiles who go to bars for the sole purpose of drinking. They do not care to dress up, they do not even dance. They just stand by their table, or lean against the bar the whole night, gulping down incredible amounts of booze. They have been drinking so long that they know when to stop, so they are pretty safe to party with…IF you are comfortable playing second fiddle to alcohol.
9.) Songbirds: People who dance with the music with real intent of singing along with it. They do not enjoy house music that do not have vocals or aren’t as popular. They prefer House mixes of pop songs that they could sing to. While dancing, they even close their eyes and sing along. This doesn’t make them bad people; it just makes them really irritating.
8.) Solo-Pilot: The loner. He or she goes to a bar to look for new friends. They are extra-friendly and even offer to buy you drinks. Unfortunately, your new found friendship ends quickly. The reason why he or she is always on the prowl for his or her new best friend is because s/he can’t keep a stable friendship.
7.) Networker: A person who goes to parties to make people feel comfortable with them, and then they proceed to sell them stuff. They go to parties to gain connections for their business. These people usually seem fun and fabulous, but they are very deceitful. THEY WILL LEAVE YO FEELING USED.
6.) Dirties: Also known as “Dirty Old Men”, these old guys are exactly like Sharks. The only difference is that they are older, usually heavier, richer, and have more power. Trust me, they do not look cute. If you do not want to look like you are partying with you Papa, leave your friendly neighborhood Dirty at home. LUCKILY THEY ARE EASY TO SPOT. JUST FOLLOW YOUR NOSE AND AVOID PLACES THAT REMINDS YOU OF YOUR CHILDHOOD. IF YOU SMELL SOMEONE WITH AN OLD SCHOOL SCENT LIKE DRAKKAR NOIR, CHAPS, OR SOMETHING AS OLD…YOU ARE PROBABALY IN THE MIDST OF A DIRTY.
5.) Miners: Also known as Gold Diggers, these girls love Dirties because they are the easiest target. They go to a bar to look for the next old man to get money from. They may act innocent, but these girls know how to play the money game.
4.) Newbie: First-timers in the party scene. They move scour the club with wide-eyed excitement, and you can feel it when they enter the bar. They aren’t quite sure what to do, and everything they choose to do seem awkward. If you spot one, beware. There is a huge possibility that this party-newbie will puke all over the bar (being too excited to party, s/he over-drinks).
3.) Shark: Also known as “players”. These are guys who scout the premises to find their next girl friend, fling, or lay. If you are a female, beware of sharks, your relationship might end the next time he has an opportunity to party.
2.) Leech: The guy with the DJ. He has no actual function. He just stands by the DJ and avails of the free drinks the DJ gets; and sometimes, the chicks too.
1.) Ninja: People who disappear when it is time to pay, or when they are too drunk. These people come to a party late, but leave early. When they are too tired, too drunk, or too poor they decide to leave the bar without even waving ‘goodbye’ to their friends.