Party-throwing tips for the Non-Partyphile

Since the partyphile (that’s me) is absent from my radio show today, here are the top ten tips on how to throw a party without a resident partyphile. That is, here are tips on throwing parties IF you aren’t a partyphile, and you don’t know any partyphile who is willing to help

10.) Always have the latest house music playing in the background. The louder, the better.

9.) Do not serve beer because everyone does that. If you must serve beer, serve it with some pineapple juice and a shot of Vodka or Tequila. This makes a shandy with a kick

8.) Do not serve spaghetti, fried chicken, or barbecue if you are NOT throwing a CHILDREN’S PARTY. If you’ve already made Spaghetti sauce, pour it over some Fries instead, to make Coney Fries. If you’ve already bought some barbecue, slather it with peanut sauce (heat some peanut butter and thin it down with water. Add soy sauce and some ginger) to make a Satay. If you’ve already cooked fried chicken—KILL YOURSELF. No self-respecting party host pre-cooks fried chicken. It just ends up soggy.

7.) Only invite your close friends and people who actually know each other. If someone ends up not fitting in at your party, you will end up with some bad party-reputation.

6.) If you feel like your party is starting to suck…it is time to bring out the big guns. Play a drinking game that everyone can join. For example, group your guests into two. One player from each group go against each other per round. Ask the contestants to drink two glasses of Tequila (or any hard liquor) and ask them to spin around ten times and drink another shot. Repeat this until someone gives up.The first one who quits loses a point. The team with the highest number of points wins.

5.) To make your party seem more exciting, set a theme. It may be as simple as a “color theme” like an all white party or a blue party. This makes people prepare for the party, just a little bit. This gives your guests the idea that your party is actually important.

4.) Give your guests quirky souvenirs. If you are on a tight budget, simply purchase brown paper bags and put a sticker on it that says “puke your guts out”. Hand these out as your guests enter the door for your party.

3.) Always give out invitations. No matter how small the gathering may be, always give your guests invitations. This makes them feel important and appreciated, and you know how egotistical partyphiles can get right? For cheap yet interesting invites, print the party details on simple Oslo paper and burn the edges. Place them inside match boxes and give them to your guests.

2.) Introduce a new drink. To ensure good reviews about your party introduce new cocktails to your guests. There are many recipes on the internet. For simple recipes log on to http://party.i.ph. If you have no time to practice new cocktails, just serve them in quirky vessels like beakers, test tubes, or maybe even an ice bucket (to be served with several straws and shared).

1.) Have fun. Plan everything ahead and have everything ready before your guests arrive. The last thing you would want to happen is for you not to have fun because of stressing too much about your guests. Take it easy. If anything bad happens, blame it on Zhaun.