My journey as a law student is coming to a close. Later tonight, we will have our last formal review with our terror teacher (who seems to be nicer these days) and i do not know how to handle things.
Last nighht, i lay in bed and i was scared. I have never felt so much emotion and it bothered me. I almost wanted to cry, and that is a pretty big deal for someone who does not even cry at funerals. i imagined my life after law school; what is there to do? my boss still has not decided or even akcnowledged the question of my status as a writer. i want to be a full-time web-content writer but everytime i ask him if i could work full-time, he simply does not reply. this is stressing me out soooo much. i do not know if i need to look for another job, oir hope that my boss will finally make me a full-time writer. this is frustrating.
of course, there is always singing. i will soon have regular gigs scattered throughout the week, and i guess this will keep me busy. but this is also somewhat a distraction. if i did not love to sing, i could accpet any job that comes my way. however, because i am now a regular performer in one of the local establishments, my choices for possible jobs are limited.
and then i remembered that this is exactly the reason why i tried law school out. because life outside the academe is so unpredictable, i did not any control over anything that happened, is happening, or will happen with my professional life. so now im thinking of going back to law school, just to avoid this uncertainty. but i tell myself i must not. i wil not be as weak as i was last june.
i will follow my dreams this time. unfortunately, i do not know whjat those dreams are yet, but i will, somehow, reach them...
confession #19
although it is very tempting to go back to law school and be a student again, becoming a lawyer has to be a dream of mine.
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