You KNow You Party Too Much When...

Partying is one of the more enjoyable things in life. It is an activity that means so much than drinking and dancing, and that is probably why kids nowadays are starting to party more and more. And although I advocate partying (the right way), sometimes, you just have to accept when you are having too much of a good thing.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN Daddy dearest starts calling rehabilitation centers for alcoholism. Trust me; Alcoholics Anonymous is not the coolest club to join.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN a friend buys you as a pet on Friends for Sale and names you “Party Animal”, “Partyphile”, or “Party People”; and your subsequent owners don’t even bother to change it.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN your Mom goes on a trip abroad and brings your siblings shirts and chocolates; and then hands you a souvenir shot glass.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN your favorite perfume is CK iN2U just because it has notes of “Gin Fizz” and “Apple Martini”; and is shaped like a wine bottle.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN your only basis for buying hair products, perfume, or make-up is how long it will last after a sweaty night of dancing.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN your parents or friends buy you shirts with statements about alcohol, or pictures of Homer Simpson drinking beer.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN house music starts to make you feel sleepy. While some people listen to classical music or slow jams to help them doze off, Bonnie Bailey is your lullaby.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN random acquaintances start sending you Facebook messages asking you where the next event/party is.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN the phrase “Work hard, party harder” is your life’s guiding principle.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN you never drink and drive to avoid spilling your drink.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN you’re eyeing someone and your idea of small talk is a conversation about partying and alcohol. Yes, my dear partyphile, people actually talk about the weather.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN more than half of your daily budget goes to partying. I get your point, but food is more important than partying. Sometimes.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN you stress about what you’ll wear to a party…two months in advance.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN you shop, every week, for new clothes to wear on the customary Saturnight gimmick.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN you wake up one Sunday morning and you are still inside a bar.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN you choose beer over water, any time of the day.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN all the wait staff in all the bars know you by name.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN you start measuring distances by how many bottles of beer you could consume by the time you get there.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN you have your own stock of wines and spirits, under your bed (for easy, late-night access).

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN you actually consider buying those sneakers that have flasks in between their soles, so you could keep your trusted Brandy in close proximity at all times.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN you enroll in dance classes, just to improve your dance floor skills.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN you can step inside a bar alone, and find drinking buddies within 5 minutes.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN you make out with some you barely know, and totally forget about it the next day.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH WHEN get on top of a bar and start dancing ala Coyote Ugly, even when there is no music playing.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH if you think poles are only used for dancing.

YOU KNOW YOU PARTY TOO MUCH if you read this and can relate with all the things mentioned above.

Catch Confessions of a Partyphile—the radio show on 105.9 Mix FM every Wednesday, 6 to 9 PM.

For comments, suggestions, and more confessions from this partyphile, log on to http://party.i.ph