Valentines Day happened during Monday of this week. By the time you would be able to read this, Valentines Day would have become a figment of the past. And how I wish to get there sooner.
The truth is, Valentines Day is not light on people who are not in relationships. In fact, it puts a strain on the weak of heart to try to find a date, any date, during that day. But of course, we already know about that… especially if you are like me, who has been single since birth.
I’ve spent twenty-four date-less Valentines in the past, and it seems like it is not getting any easier to cope with. The truth is, when I think about Valentines Day, I think about it as its romanticized self. I think about Valentines and I am automatically brought to a place filled with red cartolina hearts, little images of that imaginary little angel we call cupid, and little pieces of annoying red glitter. These days, Valentines seems to be as generic as the little black dress.
This is exactly why a lot of couples strive to give each other something extraordinary, something “unique”, every time this red-letter day comes along. And therein lays the problem. Valentines Day has been repeated each and every year, thus couples have started to run out of ideas. They have run out of things to surprise their significant others with. They have run out of reasons to pretend to be surprised. They have run out of things to look forward to, and basically, they have run out of gift options. And even though you could always check the internet for new gift ideas, the thing is, if you did not come up with it, is it really your gift?
Is it really a gift, if you are giving it because you feel like you are required by society to do so? My point is familiarity defeats inspiration. Because Valentines Day seems to creep up on our consciousness sooner than we think (each and every year) it has become too familiar. Memories of Valentines-past are still sort of fresh and familiar; and this makes it difficult to actually feel inspired about the day.
So how does this involve me, or any other singleton out there? Simple. We, just like the couples who are running out of V-day ideas, are running out of ways to keep ourselves occupied during this holiday. Trust me, I’ve tried joining the family for V-Day dinner; I felt like a loser. I’ve tried group dating; we all felt like losers. I tried pretending to date a friend for the sake of having a date during V-Day; I felt like a loser and a user. And I’ve agreed to go out with a broke friend who wanted to go out on V-day; I felt like a loser, and felt like I was used.
So the question is, why do we try to imagine ourselves having the time of our lives during Valentines? Why do we set ourselves up for disappointment by expecting an extra-special holiday? Why do we insist that February 14 should be, must be, one of the most special days of the year? Why? I do not know for sure. Maybe we are all just a little too idealistic. But the truth remains that Valentines Day has the ability to make one really, really sad. And even if you are on a date with your loved one; it seems like your expectations are hardly met. Again, Valentines Day has the ability to disappoint us, no matter what we do, no matter who are, and no matter if we are attached or single.
Even the day after Valentines, Single Awareness Day, disappoints me. Do we really need a day to make us aware that we are single? I thought that was what Valentines Day was about! It seems like everything surrounding V-Day is a total pain in the behind. Yes, this may sound like the Confessions of a Bitter Single; but I truly find that for everybody, V-day is a disappointment. How come?
Again, I can not answer that for sure. But I think the reason why we all set ourselves up for disappointment during Feb 14 is because we do not truly understand that Valentines is all about love; all forms, types, levels, and ways of it. It is about being in love, showing love, and feeling love. Valentines Day may be romantic, or it may be friendly. It may be an opportunity to show your love for your child, or parent, or that long lost friend. Valentines Day is all about love in all its wonderful splendour, the type that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside; and not the one described in all those Hallmark cards. And until you realize that, dear partyphile, your Valentines will be disappointing little messes.
Catch Confessions of a Partyphile (the radio show) every Wednesday evenings from 6 to 9 on 105.9 Mix FM or www.mixfm1059.com. Follow the columnist on twitter.com/zhaun or add facebook.com/confessionsofapartyphile on Facebook. For comments, suggestions, and more confessions from this partyphile, log on to http://party.i.ph