Early last week I received a comment on my blog from a stressed fellow-partyphile. The girl was asking for some advice about her parents attitude towards partying. Here it is:
Dear Partyphile,
Good mornight!
Let me first start by saying how much I love your articles—it has been my guide to living the good life.
Zhaun, it has been my problem that my parents have an extraordinary protective-ness each time I go out. They think I just go out for the sake of selling myself and/ or I get drunk and smoke my way up to the heavens. But I know for a fact that I just want to have fun and enjoy time with my friends when I still can.
Should I just follow my parents’ advice and be a good daughter to them or should I continue my partyphile life?
Thank you so much Ultimate Partyphile. Hoping for your reply soon. Kudos to your articles.
Much love with peace on the side,
Stressed Partyphile
Here’s my reply:
Dear Stressed Partyphile,
It’s great that you caught me at such a good time; I’m not drunk so I can actually understand your letter and reply to it.
Your problem is becoming too common. Most parents want to protect their children and often times don’t know when enough is enough. Sometimes you start to doubt your parents and think that they don’t trust you to make mature decisions. However, you must understand that, just like the rest of the non-partying population, your parents have probably heard a lot of nasty things about the party world, it is your responsibility to make them realize that not all of it is true, and that you do not want to take part in activities that would only bring you harm and more responsibilities. After all, One Night Stands, Pre-Marital Sex and Over-Drinking aren’t really cool anymore; even kids your age will think you are a loser for making such rash decisions.
However, once your parents allow you to go out and party, do not abuse that privilege. They allow you to do so because they have full trust in you. They have realized that you are mature enough to take of yourself, no matter what situation you may be in. And even that is enough for you to be thankful of.
I have always believed in cleaning up the partyphile’s image, and I ask you to please join me in that movement; do not do anything stupid, do not do anything you would regret once alcohol escapes your body, do not do anything you would have to lie about. Prove to your parents that you are still that good kid they raised.
Sorry for the melodramatic spiel, getting back to your question: maybe it would help to talk to them calmly and explain why you need to go out to party. Explain to them that it is just another venue to meet your friends, like when you go malling. Explain that it is not that big a deal to be seen inside a bar, unlike in the past (read: your parents’ time). Explain that gimmick nights serve as the perfect distraction after a hard week of exams, lectures, assignments, projects, nagging sessions, break-ups, break-outs other everyday mini-tragedies.
Also, I think it would help if your parents knew who you were going to be with the whole night. I suggest you introduce your friends to your parents and try to make your friends feel comfortable with them. Once your parents realize that your friends are really good people, they will learn to trust them and maybe become a little more lenient towards partying and gimmick nights.
If that still fails, maybe tone down your partying for a while, and show them that you really deserve a break. Instead of partying thrice a week, make it once a week. Instead of once a week, make it every other weekend, you get the drift.
Most problems like this all boil down to trust: have you proven yourself to be responsible and worthy of your parents trust? If you have, then I’m sure they wouldn’t be overly strict on you. I managed to party my way through college while maintaining really good grades. Gimmicks were sort of my little prizes for doing well in school and venues for stress relief
And if all else fails, maybe you should just show this to them, to prove how serious you are about partying.
Note to Stressed Partyphile’s Parents and all the other parents out there:
Your child wants to have fun and party. The current fad is going out to drink or dance in some bar. Your child wants to fit in, and I’m sure it would break your heart to discover that because of your strictness, your child has missed out on a lot of fun times with his/her friends. Kids should be allowed (within reason) to have the times of their lives, they won’t be forever young. Trust me when I say, the party scene isn’t really as evil or as wild as it seems. Maybe you should drop by a club once in a while and check out today’s party scene. Not to enjoy, but maybe to understand where you kid is coming from. If all else fails, contact me, I will chaperone your kid. But s/he is just clearly looking for some independence. Please give it to him/her. S/he won’t ever learn until you give him/her an opportunity to.
Confession:
Maybe you should try throwing a house party every week, until your parents call you out (it is quite expensive, you know) and maybe after that they’ll actually be relieved to get you and your whole barkada out of the house. Well that’s just a thought; it has proved to be effective for my friends and me on countless occasions.
Catch Confessions Of A Partyphile (the radio show) on 105.9 Mix FM every Wednesdays, 6 to 9 PM. If you do not have access to a radio, log on to www.mixfm1059.com on the same time and day.
For comments, suggestions, and more confessions from this partyphile log on to http://party.i.ph or http://confessionsofapartyphile.blogspot.com
