1.) You do not need to hold books up when you’re reading them. You just have to lay them on top of your tummy!
2.) When there’s a food shortage, you survive longer.
3.) You never have to bring a sweater when you watch movies.
4.) You could save the Titanic from sinking because you float better.
5.) Your fat cheeks smoothen out your wrinkles.
6.) When you slap your thighs against each other, you actually make music.
7.) When you get lost in
8.) You are easier to spot when you cross the street.
9.) You are harder to kidnap.
10.) You give the most comfortable lap rides to kids.
2009 was definitely a hot year for the Davaoeno partyphile. At the start of the year, most people were too quick to proclaim the party scene, dead on arrival (as in, the beginning of 2009) but a few events, and advancements throughout the year definitely made 2009 one of the hippest, hottest years during the last decade (2000-2009). Below are the Bests of the year.
Best New Beer: Coors Light has taken the cake for the best new beer of 2009. Although the brand is not new at all, a local brewer started producing and distributing the product. The taste is crisp, clean, and it doesn’t leave you feeling bloated. The beer has to be served ice-cold, and it has an indicator in the bottle (a white mountain that turns blue) to tell you that it is ready to serve and enjoy. If a low-calorie beer is what you prefer, this is definitely the drink for you.
Best New Drink- Gilbey’s Premium Strength has been on everybody’s lips. So much so that I am tempted to volunteer myself as their endorser, for free. It has a citrusy-sweet taste that will make you come back for more. The question is, how many bottles can you take? GPS, as it is fondly called in the party world, has seven percent alcohol, considerably higher than your usual bottle of beer. And even though this is hardly an ale, it has managed to replace beer as the most common drink seen in a partyphile’s hand.
Best Event Organizers- No self respecting Davaoeno partyphile has not yet been to a Fish Tank event. They have given us hot bangin’ parties throughout the year (Traffic, Confessions, Wave, Hypnotiq, and Unleashed). They have managed to tickle the local partyphile’s fancy with their brand of concept-parties, giving the local crowd a taste of Partyphile Nirvana. They bring in hot DJs from all over the country, and throw parties like it is nobody’s business. And although there are bigger, more established, events organizing groups in the country; in
Best Store/Shop-
Best Local DJ- 2009 was definitely the year of the Torch. He has managed to cement himself as the hottest, most in-demand DJ in the city with his brand of crowd pleasing songs that would make anybody jump up and dance. He has mastered the art of staying in tune with the pulse of the dance floor, and manages to keep a cut above the rest when it comes to song selection. More importantly, he does all this with a ready smile, and good-guy demeanor.
Best Radio Show- Confessions of a Partyphile the radio show started playing on the air on the second part of 2009 and it has helped make the local partyphile’s life easier. This three hour radio show on 105.9 Mix FM plays music that is currently heard in the clubs, while updating listeners about the up-coming parties and events. The show also gives tips on how to throw house parties and make your own cocktails, Catch it every Wednesday evening, 6 to 9 PM on 105.9 Mix FM.
Best Chill out Spot- The Habana compound has become one of the best spots to hang out when partyphiles do not feel like dancing the night away. With a lot of pubs and resto bars to choose from, the Habana compound has something for everyone. What sets Habana from all the other watering holes? The crowd is pleasing, it isn’t as chaotic; and it is very peaceful. It is one of the few places where you could actually still converse while sharing your favorite drink (mine is Bols Peppermint from SomePlaceElse).
Best New Song- Patron Tequila did not only put the Paradiso Girls on the map, it has also managed to revive the demand for the brand of tequila. The song gained popularity during the fourth quarter of 2009 and has managed to capture what partying- 2009 style- was all about. With lyrics about getting drunk and not giving a care about it; this was definitely the anthem of Davaoeno partyphiles for the year just ended.
For comments, suggestions, and more confessions from this partyphile, log on to http://party.i.ph
Being overweight in the party scene is not as easy as everyone thinks; especially when you are young, and have not yet managed to shrug off all your little insecurities. Everybody seems to forget that it is not that easy for overweight people to do things that average-weight people do.
Dressing up is such a task. You have to make sure that your man boobs, or love handles do not show, or that your thighs and beer belly isn’t exposed. You have to go out of your way to choose fabrics, cuts and designs that hide your flaws. More importantly, you cannot wear most things that are in trend because they either do not fit your body type, or they have not yet produced items of your size. Most people think fat people dress sloppily to hide their weight, but it is actually a very hard task to dress up when you do not think you look good in anything. The common overweight partyphile’s solution: to not try at all. So do not be surprised that you often see us in simple get-ups; that is all we feel comfortable in.
Of course, it does not help that we have become a society that is obsessed with a certain standard of beauty; that everywhere you look; people are flexing their muscles or showing off a toned tummy. It does not help that every endorser for every alcoholic beverage is clad in a bikini. It does not help that everybody thinks skinny is the new measure of beauty.
And even though we get over how we dress and the challenges it brings along with it; some other seemingly simple tasks, like dancing, becomes a problem. You can not help but think to yourself that you look awful when gyrating, or swaying your huge hips. You are never really comfortable showing off the latest dance moves. You can not help but think that people will stop and stare at you when you choose to work the ledge, as your sexy partyphile friends do. Even grabbing a drink from the bar is worth a little contemplation. You can not help but think that it would be doubly hard for you to squeeze into the crowd of people who are trying to order drinks at the bar than smaller partyphiles.
It is enough of a challenge to feel accepted in your small circle of classmates and officemates for being heavier; that the concept of putting yourself out there in the world of partyphiles, where everybody is measured by their image, is one that is enough to garner shudders of sheer insecurity.
Add to that the fact that nobody ever thinks you are worthy to ask to dance; or that you are boyfriend or girlfriend material. Nobody lusts after you, nobody thinks you are sexy, and nobody is willing to declare to the world that their partner is fat and gorgeous. And so you start to doubt yourself, and everything your parents have taught you about inner beauty being the true measure of a person’s goodness. You begin to doubt that you are actually worth something, because deep inside, you feel like people take you forgranted. You begin to doubt that you are truly special, just like your favorite Uncle says; or that you are a good catch, as your favorite Aunt puts it.
You get so tired of listening to people quip about how gorgeous you will be, once you lose the weight; or that the reason for your being single is the weight you have recently put on. You get tired of everybody reminding you that you have to watch what you eat, and that you do not look good in skinny jeans. In a sense, you get tired of feeling like your weight has taken you over, and the most important part of your being is, and will always be, your fat belly.
But until you stop allowing people to get into your head and dictate to you what you are and how to feel, you will never realize who you truly are, and what you can achieve. It is bad enough that people forget that bulky can be beautiful too, but it is far worse, when you look in the mirror and forget that too. The problem truly starts when you allow people to make you feel like you do not measure up, that you are not worthy of the same respect, or affection, that other people are.
The simple truth is: if people do not accept you, and your weight; they do not deserve you at all. Life is not supposed to be measured by calories, it is supposed to be measured by how many pleasurable moments you have experienced, how many lives you have touched, and how many friends you have made. Life is supposed to be enjoyed like one long buffet table, waiting to be ravaged and savored instead of a pre-measured plate of salad greens that leave nothing to the imagination. And when you realize that there is more to life than just your chubby cheeks you will start to feel beautiful, and worthy of love, respect, and a place in the partyphile ladder…even though you are too heavy to hop on it.
And unless you realize that, you will have to rely on beer-goggles to make you feel good about yourself…and nobody stays drunk forever.
1.) Another slew of common New Year’s resolutions. The most common resolution is still losing weight or gaining weight followed by spending more time with the family
2.) the national elections and of course, a new president
3.) hot new movies like Sex and the City 2, Avatar: the last airbender, Sherlock holmes, Harry potter and the Deathly Hallows is scheduled to hit the screens on Nov 19, Tim Burton’s take of Alice In wonderland, The third installment in the twilight saga: ECLIPSE will be released on June 30
4.) whitney
5.) More annoying applications and pillow fights on face book
6.) All new mobile phones which will all feature touch screens and a full qwerty keypad
7.) The 52nd grammy awards on January 31
8.) Mix FMs anniversary on the January 27 where we’ll be giving away hot prizes and we’ll also be counting down the top 105 songs of 2009
9.) the probabale end of the global financial recession
10) all new albums from everybody including:
American idol finalists: Katharine McPhee and Jason Castro
R&B divettes: Ke$ha, Monica, and Ciara
Natasha Bedingfield
Leighton Meester from Gossip Girl
Courtney Love, Maroon 5, Limp Bizkit, Blink 182,
Barry Manilow’s versions of the greatest love songs of all time
Paradiso girls
Panic At The Disco
Seconhand Serenade
Kelly Clarkson
Anthrax
Eminem
Divas: Jessica Simpson, Madonna, Jennifer Lopez, Beyonce, Christina Aguilera, Janet Jackson, Britney Spears,Mariah Carey’s all-remix version of her latest album memoirs of an Imperfect Angel to be released on Feb 2010
A Posthumous album from Tupac Shakur
And the comeback album of the ‘90s boy group Hanson
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A couple of months back I wrote an article entitled “Where My Party People At” where I was complaining about a lack of real parties and hot events in the metro. I ended the article with a short prayer to the partyphiles gods, hoping that somehow, someway, somebody would fall from the partyphiles clouds and give us some hot-bangin’ parties.
I’m really glad Smallfish Productions has taken the lead in bringing back excitement in Davao Partylandia. They have managed to make everyone party like we used to, back in the day: all dressed up, without a tinge of drama!
Thanks to Wacky Masbad and to Roland Jumawan for the pictures!
