A summer fling, they say, is the best summer accessory; it is the best way to make a summer memorable and much more fun. Although some people bash it for being too forward, as it inevitably involves wanton sex, a lot of people also enjoy it for being hassle- and drama- free. And therein lays the allure of a summer fling. Like most relationships, a summer fling involves two people who are attracted to each other and probably even appreciate each other. Unlike most relationships, it can not involve jealousy, genuine love, commitment, or setting rules and creating boundaries.
However, a summer fling can get really tricky. In the strictest form of it, love is not allowed to commence and extending the relationship after the season of the sun is never really an option. The thing is, unlike real relationships, there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to summer flings.
If you want to indulge in a sexy summer fling this season, here are some of the Do’s and Don’ts to observe.
DO: If you do not have a summer fling prospect yet, it is a great idea to do something that would expose you to new people like taking classes or summer jobs. This will give you an opportunity to meet new people in a setting that is very temporary (like the perfect summer fling).
DON’T: Look for summer flings in the wrong places. What would count as a wrong place? Places that you frequent; especially the work place, gym, or church. Remember, you would want to forget about your fling once summer ends, so seeing the person too often would defeat the purpose.
DO: Look for a summer fling while on vacation. Your vacation comes with a definite end-date, and this would require your summer fling to end once you get back home. The good news is that if you indulge in a summer fling while on vacation, the other party would understand that the relationship is anything but permanent.
DO: Stay protected.
DON’T: Get pregnant or impregnate your partner. This will obviously destroy the fantasy of a short-lived fling.
DON’T: Choosing blindly is not a good way to approach summer flings. In the end, a summer fling is still some sort of relationship albeit one that will not last long. You would still need to screen the person for any negative attributes (especially possessiveness) or for any disease (especially STDs).
DO: Use your fling to consume your time. When it all boils down to it, you want a summer fling because the season bores you as you crave for more action and adventure. Plan adventurous dates out of town with your summer fling or do something exciting together like taking up an extreme sport.
DON’T: Plan your (summer) life around your summer fling. Doing this is just plain uncool and inappropriate for a summer fling. You should make yourself available to your summer fling when you are available. Moving your appointments and engagements to go on a date with your summer fling is just crazy and seems too much like a real relationship.
DO: Clue your summer fling in about your plans. Tell him/her that you do not want a real relationship and that you are in a stage where you just want to have fun without commitment.
DON’T: Tell them straight out that they are a summer fling. That’s just tacky. Let them figure it out for themselves.
DO: Go with the flow. Just enjoy how the fling is and how you interact with each other. Remember that the point of having a summer fling is for the both of you to have fun. So do not be too serious about it, and do not think about your status too much.
DON’T: Try to make the summer fling extend into a full blown relationship. Obviously, there is always a possibility of it extending and growing into a real relationship that overcomes the summer constraint of a fling, but if it does not happen naturally, do not try to force it either. Again, the key to summer flings is being casual about everything.
DO: Keep your fling private. Remember that a summer fling is supposed to seem fun, light, carefree, and exciting. Introducing your summer fling to all your friends would just kill the excitement of the moment. Plus, it will make all of your friends assume that you are dating; something that you do not want people to think because you obviously plan to sever the relationship once June steps in.
DON’T: Ever introduce your fling to your parents. That’s just crazy. Duh.
DO: Enjoy the benefits of a summer fling. First, it takes up some of your time, which is always good if you are bored. A summer fling can also bring back your belief in romance after a bad break-up or a series of bad dates.
DON’T: Let your heart get in the way. In cases like these, falling in love is not an option. Think with your heart and not with your head. Enjoy the romance, but keep your guards up.
DO: Something worth remembering. Go on a vacation together and choose your destination wisely. The best destination could be somewhere the both of you have never been to. This will at least give you something to look back on in the future.
DON’T: Divulge very personal information. Psychos are everywhere these days. Remember, the more they know about you, the more dangerous they can be to you. The thing with summer flings is that it happens so fast that sometimes you do not have a chance to get to know the person too well so it helps to keep your guards up.
DO: Be honest with yourself. You have to know if you are ready for a fling or if you want a real relationship at this stage in your life. Confusing one with the other is the worst thing you could do because that is tantamount to setting yourself for some heart ache. Most people who involve themselves with summer flings and end up falling in love and heart broken are those who fail to be honest with themselves even before agreeing to begin a summer rendezvous.
DON’T: Be clingy afterwards. Although it would be tempting to want to spend more time with your fling after summer, it would simply come off as annoying and clingy. When you feel the urge to get back with your summer fling, remind yourself that flings come with expiration dates. What do you do then? Look for another fling to occupy yourself with.
Catch Confessions of a Partyphile (the radio show) on 105.9 Mix FM every Wednesday evenings from 6 to 9. For comments, suggestions, and more confessions from this partyphile, log on to http://party.i.ph or follow the columnist at twitter.com/zhaun
