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Monday, February 16, 2009

college conversations

It is a cold Saturday night and I am in some fast food, sharing nostalgic chit-chats with three of my friends. Somehow, the scene reminded me of Sex and the City: four single people, sharing problems and updates over food. But this is not Sex and the City. We were in the middle of Davao, not New York. We were munching on Sundae-dipped fries, not coffee and bagels. And our lives paled in comparison with the exciting lives of the Carries and Samanthas of the world. We were nothing like the four chicks from Sex and the City: we had so much to prove and we did not know what to do with our lives. But the friendship between those four sassy women reminded me of the friendship I shared with the two guys and the girl I am with tonight.

And it made me realize, the women of Sex and the City were really good at what they did. They were climbing the corporate ladder; they were set for life. All they needed to complete their lives were significant others; and I wished that this was the case with my clique.

Unfortunately, we have yet to decide what to do with our lives, especially in the professional area; and there was nowhere to turn to. We had nothing to cling on to; there were no television shows to help us decide what to do after graduation. No one told us the steps to take after we were set out in the world to start fending for ourselves. We knew nothing about the real world. School helped us realize things about it; but there was nothing that could ever prepare us to realize what and how it really was.

This time last year, my friends and I were also huddled close together over some sundae-dipped fries. We were making a project we needed to accomplish before the graduation ceremonies. We never really quite understood what we were making, but the fact that our teacher gave us some time to work together was enough to motivate us to meet regularly. We knew that a couple of weeks later, we would be separated by the graduation ceremony and we might not be able to see each other as often as we wanted.

Yet, here we are, a year after graduating college, still sharing senseless conversations over some cheap fast food. And even if we still don’t know what we are doing with our lives, at least we have realized that friendship does not fade after graduation; although it now takes a lot more effort to keep the flames of friendship burning.

So now I know why College is such a big hit: it gives us an opportunity to meet friends who will accompany us in the journey to realizing what we truly want to do with our lives. It made it possible to meet people who were going through pretty much the same thing that we did. More importantly, it gave us an opportunity to find the people who were willing to play the parts of Samantha, Miranda, Charlotte and Carrie in the stories of our sad, confused lives; and be there for us no matter what.

To all the Graduates of 2009: Congratulations! I hope you enjoy the time you have left with your College friends, and realize (sooner than I did, hopefully) that life isn’t one big party… but it sure does feel like it when you are with great friends, sharing nostalgic chit-chats over some sundae-dipped fries.


Confession #34:

I used to always complain about how boring our lectures were. Now I realize, maybe our lectures were never really that boring; somehow I just knew that the person in the desk across mine could provide a more exciting conversation than the one-sided talk my teacher was making; I never hesitated to stop listening to an important lecture just to start a conversation with my seat mate. And that is what I really miss most about college: talking about nothing and thinking the world of it; feeling alright with making mistakes; not having to calculate each and every decision we made; and being content with living for the day. And that realization, I am sure, would make, even the cynical, Miranda proud.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Where My Party People At?

Partyphile Anxiety: a condition brought about by the sudden lack of good places to party, which leaves partyphiles tense, restless, and in dire need of some hardcore partying.

I am sure most Dabawneyo partyphiles have been suffering from partyphile anxiety lately. Somehow, the bars we used to frequent are now filled with wannabes and high school students; which isn’t really the crowd of choice for ultimate partyphiles.

The cool crowd now flocks to places where they can chillax over some frozen beer instead of spending money in clubs \that offer cocktail concoctions and great house music. This isn’t really bad, but it just leaves the really good bars with a lot less “spenders” and are instead filled with kids who aren’t even of legal age to drink. There has also been a sudden decrease (or maybe even a complete disappearance) of really good events thrown by the hottest clubs in town.

So we, the partyphile crowd, look for other places and ways to have fun. Now, we see house parties gaining popularity again. I used to think this was reserved for the high school crowd; and that was actually the case when I was still in high school, not too long ago. But now that the tables have been turned and little kids now frequent the hottest bars; we are left with no choice but to go back to our old ways of gathering the barkada and mixing up our own cocktails. Somehow, the party scene is becoming less about where you go, and more about who you are with: a futile attempt for partyphiles to keep the party flame burning.


The Davao party scene used to be a lot more exciting. There used to be a lot more party options for the gimikero. There used to be better bars; hotter events; more exclusive parties. We did not have to share the dance floor with people of the (excuse the term) jologs crowd. We used to be in our element when we were in bars; now, we seem more and more out-of-place in the sea of kids, emos, and wannabes.

And it used to be easier to classify if the crowd was of the ultimate partyphile race (those who love to drink, dance and socialize); the partyphile wannabes (those who love to drink, dance, and try to climb the social ladder), or the non-partyphiles (those who love to drink, sit and indulge in senseless conversation). Now, it seems like everyone drinks for the sole purpose of getting wasted; Davao has become one of the most intoxicated societies in the Philippines. And it doesn’t take a genius to figure this out. A lot more restos and “grills” have been popping up, posing to serve good food, when all they really sell are cases upon cases of cheap frozen beer.

Davao has ceased to become exciting for the partyphile race. It has, however, become a haven for everyone and anyone who would want to get wasted, puke in public and try to look for cheap thrills.

So, what can a poor, frustrated partyphile do to solve this problem?

Sadly, I do not know. But I have been contemplating on (gasp!) quitting the party scene completely; a really big and scary step for someone who has found solace in hardcore partying. But until I am ready to give my party mojo up, I will continue praying that some inspired entrepreneur would finally open a bar in the metro and breathe new life into the waning Davao party scene.

So to all the anxious, lonely, out-of-place partyphiles out there, let’s keep our hopes up and wish that the Party Gods would send us a new hotspot in the coming months… or else, the partyphile race might be completely extinct.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Singletons, Self Love and Public Temptation No. 1


In this day and age when the levels of relationships are getting more and more complicated, the cost of actual dating is sky-rocketing, and hopeless romantics are almost of the extinct race; love and dating is one of the more stressful things in life.

And although we, the members of the band of singletons, know how much stress and trouble love may bring us, the truth remains that, like and addictive little pill, we always want more and more of the highs and lows that only love can bring. And we still feel the crunch when Valentines creeps into our realities, after a dose of un-reality brought by the Holiday season. Yup, somehow, after all these years, Valentines never fails to put a damper, on an otherwise stress-free month of February.

It is already bad enough that we click the box that says “Single” when asked about our dating status when creating an online profile (think: Friendster and Facebook), but to be faced with the reality that you are actually single, beyond the confines of cyberspace, for a whole month nonetheless… that is just too much a for a single partyphile to handle.

And even though I could always suggest a couple of things you could do to get your mind off the fact that you are dateless this Valentines, the truth is, my dear partyphile, you will never get to relax this season until you understand the truths about love.

People often forget that Valentine’s Day is about love; all modes and forms of it. And unless you love yourself enough to realize that being in love with you is all the love you need (cliché as it may sound), you will never accept the fact that Valentines was never meant to be reserved exclusively for the romantic kind of love.

And when that fateful day arrives that you are mature enough to realize the truths about self-love, you may party like you have never partied before! Let your hair down and dance like no one is looking; treat yourself to that expensive shot of liquor; wear your favorite, outrageous outfit; and party like a rock star…not because you want get things off your mind, not because you want to hook up with someone this Valentines, not even because you want to seem like you do not care that you are single on the Day of Love, but because you are mature enough to celebrate the love you have for yourself!

And that, in a sense, is the true meaning of being a partyphile: doing what you want and loving yourself for finding the courage to do so.

This Valentines, stop the whining and crying over being dateless in Partylandia. Grab your friends, click glasses, pour some bubbly and party like there was no tomorrow! Who cares if you’re single? You are all the lover you need!

Confession # 28:

No matter how much you grasp the idea that you don’t have to be in a relationship to fully enjoy Valentines Day; there will always be that one second off those 24 hours of February 14 when you will step back and wallow in self-pity for being dateless. And when that happens, shrug it off and remind yourself that the only reason why you are single is because you want to extend your reign as… Public Temptation No. 1.

Partyphile Horoscope


Published in Edge Davao Business Weekly


The Chinese New Year is here and everyone, including partyphiles, would want to know about their luck and fortune for 2009. However, it gets confusing when you realize that horoscopes provided by the newspapers and other sources never really agree with each other. But when you are looking for your party horoscope for the year of the Brown Cow, there is only one place where you can get that: HERE. So read on and discover what 2009 holds for you, my dear partyphile.

Tiger: This year, you may have to rely on your resourcefulness much more than before. So when the bouncer denies you access to the VIP, use your quick wit and find ways to get in. The feisty yet charismatic tiger is hard to refuse. Use your charms and people skills to get what you want, when you want it.

Ox: You will do great things this year through steady, steely determination. If you are a partyphile wannabe or a budding partyphile, do not rush things. Take things slowly but surely and you will definitely be on your way to ultimate partyphilia! If you have already sealed your spot in the metro’s roster of partyphiles, just keep partying hearty and you will stay in the party map until the end of the year.
Rat: You will be a wee bit more popular this year, especially in the first few months. However, be wary of booking too much gimmicks. Do not spread yourself too thin. Even the hardest party-goers know when to stop partying. You are sure to rise to the party elite if you plan your night outs properly, and never make your friends feel short-handed.

Pig: You have always been known for your generosity, my porky partyphile. Keep your giving streak to a maximum and be extra generous to your family, friends, and more importantly, your gimmick buddies. This will not only improve your relationshipswith them, but will also bring you good karma and make you successful in other areas of life. But always remember to find alone time. Do not forget to give your self time or this will lead to some serious priority shifts.

Dog: This year you will find that your work may be in conflict with your regular night-outs. Set your priorities straight and decide which one is more important: work or partying. This will be somewhat of a challenge since your stressful work environment will keep on pushing you to spend more time with your closest friends. Keep things in perspective and do what you always do: work hard and party harder!

Rooster: Get ready for one hard-partying year! 2009 will prove to be one of the best years for you, little partyphile. The party persona you have always tried to attain will now become your reality. Things you never thought were possible in partylandia may happen and you have to be ready for these. You do not need much advice for 2009, as it will be very good for you, over-all. Just be yourself, and watch you party star rise this year!

Watch out for the next half of this horoscope soon

Sunday, January 11, 2009

the rich boring man's vice

yup. the new year is here but somehow, everything feels a wee bit old. i was in urban club last night and it was gross

it was filled with kids..i mean..im not old myself..im 22...but urban was filled with..i dunno...15 year olds?

just.

plain.

gross.


its just wrong..i dont wanna be flirting with somebody and ending up in jail for corruption of minors..yucks.more importantyl...they shouldnt even be drinking and stuff.

whats more...torres is gfetting tired...its now ike a market place..i saw a lot of emos there as well...and a lot more jologs kids and grandpas...


rizal is starting to be a bore..i see the same people..and all of them are gayt its getting boring for me...i need a new change...
my party god! where will i go now?

i hope davao comes up with some new bar....i might give up on gimmicks completely..and stick with the rich boring man's vice: coffee

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

what i need most

im at work right now..its 15 minutes before i do my boardwork and im..underwhelmed? idont know..i expected to receive something today and ididnt..and it jjust complicates my life all over again...boring days...here i come

anyways...

wow..it really is the end of 2008..and i have experienced quite a lot this year.
i graduated last march. i entered law school, got the highest mark in the entrance exam for law school. i topped our first exam. and then i quit law school. i started singing in some local bars, and that was always exciting. i now have my own column in a local paper...and that brings me some sort of satisfactio. i have been writing for several websites, my article in you magazine will be released in this month's issue. i am now a dj and a tutor... i also worked for a hotel for a day.


all these seem like a big deal. when i read it on paper, it seems like i hav achieved a lot...but really...when i ook at myelf..it still is me..and no matter how many years pass, and how many great things happen...if it happens to you..it is just..underwhelming..


i am not great. in my mind i am not. and i probabaly will never be great, or the greatest at what i do...and i do a lot...

and i dont think thats a bad thing...that it is one way to stay grounded...but something ha happened to me..i have become unexcitable..i have become too "chill"...that is not to sya that i have become cool..im just always....steady...always relaxed...always unemotional..unexcitable..in a sens..i have become boring...

while the lifeim living is anything but that...it is pretty exciting...but i dont know..i have just become boring....and bored...with life..with love and with everything that comes along with it...i need a revolution..i need a radical change...what i need the most right now....


is a new year

confession:

although new year bringsa lot of food and get togethers...and im all for that..somehow, im not as excited as used to be..i dont know..call me crazy...but i think the partyphile is growing up...or he's just growing tired....

Thursday, December 25, 2008

welcome to the world of the grinch


Here I am, once again, in front of the PC.

It is Christmas morning but it doesnt seem like it is any different from all of my other mornings. It seems ordinary. Nothing is special today.

Probably the biggest difference between today and all my other morning is that there is a lot of food on the table.But other than that it all seems the same.

I am tired because I stayed up too late last night, but that is something I always do. I had just woken up, but I want to go back to sleep again. That is something I always feel. Fortunately, today I can do that, because I do not have work. After all, it is a holiday. But I do not feel any difference between today and any other holiday. In my mind, they are all the same. However, the moment I turn on my TV, I am reminded that today, Christmas Day, is supposed to be special.

earlier, I woke up because there was a huge earthquake. Obviously, that does not happen very often; and it was actually quite noteworthy.I mean, how often do I get to experience that?

I had a lot of pizza and fried chicken...for breakfast; and that does not happen often too.I ate breakfast with my cousins whom I have not seen for a year now. Obviously, breakfast with these little brats does not happen often either.

Most people would gather these pieces of information and conclude that today is quite different from any other day; one might even say today is special. Not me.

I feel like I have been here before. This tired-sleepy-full feeling is something I'm terribly familiar with. To me, nothing seems authentically new.

Yes, it is Christmas, the most special day of the year for the young-at-heart. However, I am still sitting beside myself wondering why I am not excited; why I do not feel giddy for this once-a-year happening.

And then I realize, this might be the effect of the cause we call maturity. Maybe all the good things we hear about Christmas is fluff. Maybe the real meaning of Christmas is not as deep and profound as everyone makes it to be? Maybe Christmas is reserved for the young-at-heart because the true meaning of Christmas is being excited about opening gifts. Some people would say this is the most childish reason for Christmas, but if you really think about it, aren't we all just victims of commercialism and fairytale-esque realities? Maybe the reason why I have stopped getting excited for Christmas is because I have chosen to stop being materialistic.

Gone are the days when I would come to school after Christmas break with my new bag, new ball pens, new shoes, new pens, and new perfume.

This year, I have no classmates to boast to, I did not have new pens to boast of, and quite frankly, I have ceased to feel the urge to boast.

I mean, they say Christmas is about family and giving, and rainbows, reindeer, and snow, and funny giant elves who creep into your home at night. But I live with my family, and we see each other everyday; and I do not need a special day just to appreciate what my family has, and what we share. And to whom should I give to? To my family and friends who have everything they need?

I don't know. I'm not quite sure about anything I just said, but my point is: the only reason I got excited for Christmas as a child was because I wanted to open gifts. Nothing more, nothing less.

And now that I have ceased to be materialistic, there is no need to be excited for anything any more.

This is not sad, it is not tragic. It just is.


confession:

Now I understand why Christmas is for kids. Unlike adults, they have the license to be materialistic, without being snubbed upon by society. And the good thing is, they do not even expect much. They take whatever material thing they are gifted with and treat it like it is the best gift they have ever received.

But once you have failed Christmas expectations, you slowly become a jaded Christmas elf; afraid of having Yuletide expectations, afraid of getting excited for the season, and afraid of letting the fabled "Christmas Spirit" take over.

Welcome to the world of the Grinch.